ouch

an article from peyups... galing, sapul!

D*mn you for putting me through all that.
D*mn you for taking my belief in love, my belief in forever, my belief in you,
and handing them back to me broken, saying you can’t deal with them anymore. You
will never know how much you hurt me by just giving up, you will never know how
much you scared me from loving as much as I loved you ever again.

I did not deserve to be hurt that way.
And you didn’t deserve my trust.

I loved you. Honestly, bravely,
intensely I loved you. But it wasn’t enough.

I hate the fact that we could have
saved us, but we didn’t. We simply gave up something rare, something that
doesn’t come along everyday. I hate the emptiness. I hate the regrets.

But the worst thing about all this is
the simple, stupid, pathetic truth that I miss you. I miss you. I knew losing
you would be painful, but pain, I can deal with. I can cope with the sharp,
intense rush of emotion that cuts like a knife, but is relieved somehow by tears
and is dulled by the passage of time. What I didn’t expect was the sadness – the
steady, lingering hurt that comes with the realization that you will never again
look at me as if I’m precious, special, and infinitely cherished, you will never
again call me “garnet ko” with the tender amazement that I really am yours. It’s
the constant heaviness that haunts me and makes me wonder if I’ll ever be whole
again without you, of if I’ll always mourn the part of me that died with our
love. I miss you. And I’m to be totally honest with myself, I’ll have to admit
that I’d do anything, give everything even go through all the confusion again,
just to find a way for you to keep believing in us. But there’s no chance of
that.

Some goodbyes are final. I have a
feeling this one is.

- garnet_fire of peyups.com http://peyups.com/article.khtml?sid=3898